


Part 10 Total Recall

by xxxRIPLEYxxx



Series: The Princes of Midgard [10]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Avenger Loki, Bucky is a mess, Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki uses sex to get what he wants, Loki/Bucky - Freeform, M/M, Multi, NSFW Art, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Stucky - Freeform, Tony Is a Good Bro, Torture, established relationships - Freeform, stoki - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:42:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21901693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxxRIPLEYxxx/pseuds/xxxRIPLEYxxx
Summary: When Bucky is captured and his Winter Soldier conditioning is set in motion again, the boys have to figure out what’s going on and who’s behind it. It leads them on an emotional journey none of them anticipated.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Loki, James "Bucky" Barnes/Loki/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Loki/Steve Rogers
Series: The Princes of Midgard [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1469486
Comments: 30
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I heard you killed your only friend last year](https://archiveofourown.org/works/406573) by [Lise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lise/pseuds/Lise). 



> Thank you to Aivelin for this beautiful art. Check out his work on [Tumblr](http://aivelin.tumblr.com)

(Longing, rusted, furnace, daybreak, seventeen, benign, nine, homecoming, one, freightcar)

One of the Russian contingent had approached Tony at the end of the conference in St. Petersburg with a request. Would Mr. Stark allow them to retain the services of James Barnes for a few more days for a meeting with the Chechnyans? Their own man had fallen ill and since Barnes had been trained by Russians, they knew he was the best.

Tony grinned, popping a chocolate-covered coffee bean into his mouth. They knew Barnes’ background and by requesting him specifically they were asking for Tony’s assistance while at the same time making sure he knew they only considered Russians “the best.” Typical, he thought. But, he could imagine many reasons it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have Barnes there.

“You okay with that, Barnes? You can say no.”

Tony had given him an out. He didn’t take it. Like Loki, he was grateful to Tony and owed him far more than he could repay. Discomfort with the Russians aside, it was a small enough request and he nodded, pushing aside the little voice that whispered _NO, I’m not ok with that_.

Bucky got in the car and they’d gone less than a mile before there were suddenly two Gsh-18’s pointed at his face. He put his hands up, buying a few seconds to figure out what was going on, and a needle pierced his arm. Almost immediately, his vision went blurry and his muscles refused to do what he asked. There were only a few people who knew what drugs would work on him, and the dread hit him as fast as his mind tumbled to it.

 _Goddammit, Tony, I knew this was a bad idea_...darkness engulfed him.

*****

“Longing.”

The word, spoken in Russian, hit Bucky like a baseball bat and his mind reeled. But, he at least knew he was no longer susceptible to its suggestion; Shuri had made certain of that. He didn’t move in his restraints, waiting for an opportunity. He was still a little groggy, but mostly in control of himself.

“Rusted.”

The man was in his face—almost close enough Bucky could head-butt him—and his voice was soft and calm. He wore a suit, but it looked out of place on him, like he wasn’t comfortable in it, and his hair was long and greasy. Bucky vaguely felt as though he should know who this was, but couldn’t place him. Another man, dressed in white, approached his right side and he felt the familiar stab of a needle into his deltoid muscle. In a few moments, his surroundings began to blur, and the voice was speaking softly in his ear now. It spoke in Russian.

“They are together, you know. Without _you_. Would you like to see the video?”

“Of course, they’re together. _We’re_... _together_...wait...”

His vision was a little blurry, but his mind was even more so. What was he missing? This was escalating fast.

“Video...where did you get video...”

They couldn’t have video. No one else knew about Loki’s Black Forest house, and even if they did, Loki would know if they were being spied on. The whole place was sheathed in magic. Magic...too late, he thought about the binding. He could summon Loki. He had to do it now, before his mind went completely; he managed to focus, concentrating on Loki’s image.

“ _Du...er...m—_ “

Muscle memory took over as a bite plate was shoved between his teeth and he bit down.The room spun and he was wheeled down a hallway to a room containing a machine. To his hazy mind, it looked like... _no, it couldn’t be_...what HYDRA had used on him seventy years ago. The metal paddles constricting his head... _nononono_...those were gone. They didn’t exist anymore.. _.his chest heaving..._ HYDRA didn’t exist anymore _...how can this be happening?_

A surge of power...pain...convulsions...then snow...snow was so peaceful and white and silent...

When he regained consciousness, he was sure he’d been kicked in the head by a horse and could barely lift his chin off his chest. His eyes opened to the sight of his own naked body strapped into a chair, covered in sweat. He tried to speak, but he couldn’t use his mouth because there was a strip of leather in it.

 _Oh, God...please, no...not this...I won’t...I’ll die first_...

“Look up, Sergeant Barnes. Look at the video.”

He managed to raise his head enough to see a screen. Steve, Loki, and Tony were standing in a hallway, smiling and talking. Security camera footage from Stark’s building. Loki’s arm was around Steve’s shoulders and Steve’s was around his waist. So casually _intimate_. A flash of jealousy, then anger, as they kissed and then blinked out, leaving Tony laughing and shaking his head.

“They do not care about you, Sergeant. What need have they of a broken scrap of a human being; a bio-mechanical weapon like you?”

Bucky clenched his eyes shut and the sequence began again.

“Longing.”

 _Longing_...longing for forgiveness for the many lives he’d cut short—for the people he’d murdered in cold blood. _Longing_ to be loved; knowing neither of those things could ever happen for him. Who could ever forgive _him_ or love _him_ —what he’d become?

“Rusted.”

Like _him_. The only thing he’d ever been good at was being a weapon, and he was rusting into dust, useless now.

“Furnace.”

He shook his head violently. _NO_. None of that was true. He _did_ have Tony’s forgiveness, and Steve’s. Steve loved him. He’d said so on Sakaar. And, Loki...well, he’d never said the words, but...

A rough hand yanked the strip of leather out of his mouth and shoved the bite plate back in, and the whole sequence began again. Another needle stick, another shock, another convulsion. This time, he listened before he opened his eyes.

“... taking so long?”

“Because we can’t wipe him completely. Implanting memories takes time. We can _twist_ him, but we can’t _erase_ him.”

 _Hold on to that...you have to hold on to that_...he knew that information was important, but he couldn’t hold on to _why_.

“Longing.”

“Look at them, Barnes. One _is_ a god, and the other might as well be. Even while you sit in this chair, they rut with each other like bulls. Without you. Can you picture it?”

Even in his foggy, fucked-up mind—yes, he could picture it.

“Rusted.”

Could picture Loki’sperfect, pale body, mouth wrapped around Steve’s perfect, golden cock, sucking him dry. He’d seen it enough times. He knew it was real.

“Furnace.”

“They’re moving on. Leaving you behind,” said the man in the white coat.

“Daybreak.”

He was also vaguely aware that, if they weren’t showing him video of Loki and Steve having sex, that meant they didn’t have it. Which meant they didn’t know about the house or weren’t able to spy on it. That was something, at least, and he tucked it away. Maybe he _could_ still resist.

“Seventeen.”

The man in the suit ran his fingers over the three scars from the bullet holes in Bucky’s chest.

“Why didn’t you die that day, I wonder? It was Loki, was it not?”

Bucky didn’t look at him, silent.

“Perhaps he did care about you once. Not anymore. Why would he, when he has Captain Rogers now? Did you know they’re going to a charity gala together tomorrow night? Rumor has it they plan to come out as a couple. Imagine thenews coverage that will get.”

A tear escaped Bucky’s eye and he sobbed once.

“No. They wouldn’t do that.”

“No? We will see.”

He was dragged back to his cell. But, still, he was not allowed the luxury of sleep. They kept him drugged, naked, hungry, and cold for two days, until he was dragged back out and strapped into the chair again. It was taking a toll on even his superhuman constitution. Of course, they knew that.

As soon as he was strapped in, the man in the suit held something up in front of him, which his drugged, sleep-deprived mind was having trouble understanding. It was a copy of the New York Times.Then, he focused enough to comprehend it. The headline took up the whole above-the-fold half of the newspaper.

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND GOD OF MISCHIEF ARE A COUPLE

AVENGERS KNEW ALL ALONG

“Longing.”

“Rusted.”

“Furnace.”

He had no idea how many more days it lasted. The repeated sequences, being dragged back to his cell...it was neverending. When he was allowed to rest at all, there was a voice piped into his cell, reading the newspaper articles and commentary.

“Steven Rogers, better known as Captain America, has long been supportive of equal rights for homosexual and trans people. Yesterday, he admitted to a longstanding love affair with his previous alien nemesis, Loki Odinson, brother of Thor and mastermind of the attempted alien takeover of Earth in 2012. They were introduced by Rogers’ oldest friend, James “Bucky” Barnes, also known as Winter Soldier. Barnes is Odinson’s partner in Tony Stark’s program to rehabilitate super-powered enemies of the state. Thor has known about the affair from the beginning and fully supports his brother’s decision to announce their relationship publicly.”

“Think about it, Sergeant Barnes. Every moment you’re here alone, they’re together. Happy, laughing, making love, making plans. You are nothing to them. Captain Rogers, America’s Golden Boy, and Loki, the handsome alien Prince; they have left you behind. Any affection they may show you now is a lie. Even in battle you will be replaced. Would Loki prefer the original Super-Soldier or the second-rate copy to fight by his side? You were a tool to be used and cast aside; nothing more.”

_No, no...it’s a lie. They wouldn’t abandon me. They wouldn’t._..

But, every new story and every hour of sleeplessness and every repeated sequence of drugs and shocks and words made it seem less true.

At some point (he couldn’t pinpoint exactly when), he wore down and took the bite plate willingly. It was actually comforting. The ache in his heart was worse than the mind-shock and he just wanted to forget the only thing he’d been holding onto. The one thing that had kept him sane. It was gone now and nothing mattered—least of all, _him_. He was nothing and he deserved nothing. He was a weapon and weapons didn’t feel.

This time, they went through the entire sequence of ten trigger words without any resistance from their captive.

“Freightcar.”

Bucky’s eyes were steady and staring straight ahead.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Loki has something I want and he has defied me for too long. Bring me the Tesseract.”

*****

Tony had sent a jet to bring him back to New York. The whole flight home was a battle in his mind between Loki and Steve versus the void that consumed him—the black hole in his heart into which his entire being had been emptied. He focused on the Tesseract, because that was all that mattered. Loki and Steve were lost to him, and he dozed off and woke himself with a soft groan, the image of Steve kissing Loki in his head. It was his own fault—he’d been the one who wanted them together. 

“Are you all right, Mr. Barnes?”

The flight attendant looked a little concerned, offering him a glass of water. 

“I’m fine. Maybe caught a little Russian flu bug, but I’ll be over it in no time. I promise I won’t breathe on you,” he laughed darkly.

*****

As soon as Bucky set his bag down in his apartment, Loki was there. He could have knocked and waited for an answer, but he didn’t. It had been ten days since he’d seen James, and that was nine days too long. He’d simply teleported into the living room and grabbed James by the shirt, pushing him against the wall.

“We missed you— _I_ missed you. Do you have any idea what I want to do to you right now?”

Loki was grinning mischievously. His hand went to Bucky’s hair and pulled a handful, forcing him to arch his neck and offer it.

“No. What do you want to do to me?” Bucky asked, voice distant and monotone.

“James? What’s wrong?”

He shook his head, realizing his mistake. If he wanted the Tesseract, Loki had to trust him, so he smiled faintly and kissed Loki on the cheek.

“Nothing. I’m sorry—a little jet-lagged. I’d like to just lay down for awhile.”

He flopped down tiredly onto the bed, his head throbbing.

 _Good job, Barnes._ _Nothing makes you seem more normal than not being interested in sex. If that does’t set off alarms in Loki’s head, nothing will._

“On second thought, maybe you could help me relax and sleep for awhile,” he said, pulling Loki closer. He let Loki undress him, then closed his eyes and allowed his body to go through all the motions, sounds, and reflexes he knew Loki wanted to see.

He watched, as if he were an audience at a performance, as his cock responded and did all the things it usually did when Loki sucked it. It was as though he was separate from his body now, and although it was strange, the distance gave him an inner tranquility he hadn’t had in a long time.

When Loki finished swallowing him down and normally would have had his own erect length pushing enthusiastically against him, there was only stillness. Loki looked down at Bucky, flicking a lock of wayward hair off his forehead, and saw no warmth in his eyes.

“James? I don’t understand what’s going on. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

_That you betrayed me—that you don’t need me anymore._

“What—what did you and Steve do while I was gone? Anything interesting?”

Ah. All right. Loki was still unsure where this was going, but starting to get an idea.

“You knew we were going to the house. I needed some time to recharge. Is that what’s bothering you? That it was just Steve and me at the house?”

 _They have no need of a broken scrap of a human being_.

“No...maybe.” He wasn’t sure how to answer that. There was just the pain of rejection.

“That’s all? Just you and Steve at the house?”

Guilt crept into Loki’s thoughts. That was the second time he’d been alone with Steve and they’d had...memorable moments. It was understandable that James might feel left out.

“I’m sorry, James. That’s just how the timing worked out. I needed recharging after Sakaar and you were gone, and...”

“And Steve was there. I know. So, how did the world react to your announcement? I haven’t been keeping track,” he lied.

“Announcement? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Of course, you don’t.”

He jerked away from Loki’s hand on his arm.

“Get away from me. Let me go.”

He shouldn’t be doing this if he wanted Loki to give him the Tesseract, but he couldn’t help it. He was confused and hurt and Loki needed to _know_ he hurt. He needed to hurt back.

“You’re a selfish bastard, just like everyone said you were. I defended you and you used me, and now you’re lying to me.”

“James, _please_. I don’t know anything about an announcement. Tell me what you’re talking about.”

Loki sat on the bed, perplexed, as Bucky dressed, picked up his bag, and walked out the door without a backward glance.

He didn’t know where he was going, but he had to get away from Loki. Loki, who he’d believed understood him, maybe even loved him, had betrayed him. Without conscious decision, he found himself walking toward Steve’s house in Brooklyn. He needed to talk to Steve—or did he? Didn’t Steve betray him, too? God, his head hurt and there was _something_...a thought, a memory, trying to surface, trying to pound its way out.

 _We can twist him, but we can’t erase him_.

He ducked into an alley, leaning back against a brick wall, breathing hard, heart racing. His head was throbbing and there were red spots when he closed his eyes.

_Twist him...bring me the Tesseract._

_No. Don’t do it. You can’t do it._

The walls of the alley closed in and went dark _._


	2. Chapter 2

“You know what he’s been through. He doesn’t need this...uncertainty. You didn’t follow him?” Steve’s voice was low and slightly accusatory.

“No. But, it’s all right. I wanted to talk to you first, and I can find him whenever I need to. He doesn’t have to summon me with the binding.”

Loki looked vaguely uncomfortable and Steve stared at him.

“Ok, Loki, what did you do?”

Loki sighed.

“Yes, there’s something I haven’t told you. The binding wasn’t the only thing I put in you. Before that—before I knew I _wanted_ you to be bound to me—I put a tracking spell in you, so I could see where you were when I wanted to know. It’s like a GPS beacon only I can see.”

“ _What_? Why?” And why didn’t you mention this when you were having all those ‘do the right thing’ pangs?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I was afraid of telling you too much.I put one on him so I could protect him if I needed to. I put one on you the first time we...when we first met, because I didn’t trust you and I thought you might come after me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Steve just shook his head, not especially surprised.

“Well, it isn’t like I didn’t know you kept secrets. Ok, where is he?”

Loki’s eyes defocused for a moment and then looked startled.

“ _Oh_. He’s _here_. Out front.”

“Does he know about the tracking spell?”

“No. As far as he knows, he would have to use the binding for me to find him.”

“Let’s keep it that way for now, until we know what’s going on,” said Steve.

Bucky beat on the door and Loki vanished with a cloaking spell, and as soon as Steve opened the door, Bucky slammed against it and pushed inside. His hair was matted to his forehead with sweat and his eyes were wild and bloodshot. Steve hadn’t seen him like that since they’d had to un-brainwash him. His voice shook with emotion and he was barely in control of himself.

“You fuckers could barely wait until I was gone, could you?”

Steve stared at him, dumbfounded.

“What on Earth are you talking about, Buck? Wait for what?”

Bucky grabbed him by the shirt and shoved him hard against a wall, cracking the wood paneling.

“You lied to me. You both lied. You don’t give a _shit_ about me.”

Steve very carefully kept his voice calm and even.

“Bucky, I’m sure this is all some kind of misunderstanding. Of course, I care about you and so does Loki. When I thought we might die in the arena on Sakaar I told you I love you, remember?”

Bucky pulled the newspaper out of his bag and held it up.

“I remember a lot of things. Are you pretending you don’t know anything about _this_?”

Steve read the headline and his mouth opened, but nothing came out momentarily. He took a deep breath and read it aloud.

“‘Captain America and God of Mischief are a couple. Avengers knew all along’...The New York Times?”

He was still trying to understand what he’d just read when Loki uncloaked.

“James. This isn’t real. I don’t know what’s going on, but this never happened. Someone wanted you to believe it. Did something happen while you were in Russia?”

Pain, fear, doubt, confusion...all flashed across Bucky’s face in quick succession before dissolving into despair. He dropped to his knees and pressed the heels of his hands to his throbbing temples, the red spots glowing behind his eyelids.

_Dear God, what is wrong with me? How could I be so weak?_

 _“_ Steve...I think it happened again _._ The machines _...”_

“What machines? You don’t mean the HYDRA stuff...those were all destroyed and Shuri broke the conditioning.”

“No. I remember. When I was in Russia...they _twisted_ me, they said. I was weak—I broke—because they told me...because I thought you... _Oh, God_...they got to me again. _Again_.”

He sank back on his heels, trying to will the desperation away.

“You weren’t weak, James. You _remembered_ , and very quickly, if they did this while you were in St. Petersburg. Here, let me,” said Loki, putting a hand on Bucky’s forehead.

“Just focus on what you remember and let me do the rest.”

Steve stared at Loki, a little dumbfounded this time.

“You mean you can get in his head and poke around? Something else you neglected to mention.”

“I’ve never done it to you or to him or to anyone else since I’ve been on Earth. You would have felt it if I had. But, if a written list of my magical skills would make you feel better, consider it done,” Loki shot back.

“Steve...just let him...please.”

Loki was quiet for a long moment and then began a running commentary for Steve’s benefit.

“Can you feel me, James? Can you tell I’m there?”

“Yes, it feels...it feels a little like the burning sensation when you healed me. A warmth—I can tell it’s you.”

Loki shot Steve an annoyed look and continued.

“All right. Whatever they did is not magic, so I can’t counteract it outright. As Shuri said, it’s more a manipulation using chemicals and electrical impulses. But, I can see them—implanted memories. The more he remembers what really happened, the weaker they get. I can strengthen his ability to reject the false memories and that should make him even more resistant if they ever try again. I’m sure they weren’t counting on him overcoming it this quickly.”

Bucky’s entire demeanor shifted and relaxed, and he almost collapsed on the rug.

“Jesus Christ.. _thank you_. That icepick in my brain is gone, now. But, we have another problem.”

“What kind of problem?” asked Steve.

“They know Loki has the Tesseract and they sent me to get it.”

“Damn.” Loki squeezed his temples. He should have known it couldn’t stay a secret forever. If the Boss from the cave knew, someone else did, too.

“So...First question: Do we tell Tony? I think he needs to know. It happened during his conference and it had to have been someone from the company he’s dealing with,” said Steve.

“Yeah, but if Tony gets other people involved, then that many more know about the Tesseract, which could turn into a shit-show fast,” answered Bucky.

Loki’s eyes were fixed somewhere out the window and he barely reacted when Steve put a hand on his shoulder.

“What’s with the thousand-yard stare? You ok?”

“I have an idea, but it’s a risk. For all of us.”

“Well, let’s hear it. This Tesseract problem is not going away, and it’s a risk for all of us right _now_. Even if you handed it over to Tony or whoever, it’s still a risk for humanity, so we need to handle it.”

“I can leave a message for Tony. I can put it on a trigger in case we aren’t back in three days,” Loki said.

“Ok...that’s an optimistic start,” said Steve.

“It’s neither optimistic nor pessimistic. It’s just reality.”

Bucky shrugged and nodded. It was always smart to be prepared for all contingencies.

“They want the Tesseract and we don’t know who ‘they’ are, so James is going to give it to them.”

“Even more optimistic. I hope you’re going somewhere I want to be with this,” said Steve.

“You and I will be with him, cloaked. When he gives it to the man in the suit, we take him. We find out who he is and who he works for. Worst case scenario, the three of us can fight our way out of almost anything, if we have to.”

“Buck, what’s the protocol for when you have the Tesseract?”

“I take it back to St. Petersburg. It doesn’t look like anything special as long as it’s in a container and I don’t touch it. At least, that’s what they told me. I have a contact code to let them know I’m coming in.”

“All right, so as soon as you arrive and get close, you find someplace private and summon me. Steve and I will teleport there, cloaked.”

“Loki, are you sure it’s ok to let the Tesseract out of your possession for that long?” asked Steve.

He smiled and nodded.

“A duplicate that no mortal will be able to tell from the real thing? Yes.”

“I’m in,” said Bucky. “I want that bastard dead. I want ‘em all dead.”

Steve knew Loki and Bucky had a bond he could never truly understand. A common experience he hoped never to have—that someone had chewed your mind and body into bite-size pieces and replaced part of you with something else. That it left a permanent mark and a gnawing itch at the back of your brain that _maybe_ it could happen again. If he could take some of that burden off them and bear it himself, he would. But, he knew that all he could do was be there and pray to the God he barely believed in anymore that he could make sure they didn’t hurt themselves or anyone else if it did happen again.

“Well...I can’t let the two of you go in there without me, so yeah...I guess I’m in, too.”

“In the morning, then,” Loki said.

Steve nodded and squeezed Bucky’s shoulder.

“In the morning. Stay here tonight. I have some work to do with Natasha, but I’ll see you in a couple of hours. Keep the bed warm.”

*****

Loki pulled Bucky in, wrapped himself around him, and kissed him softly.

“Loki, I...”

“Shh. You don’t need to say anything. You were stronger than they were and that’s all that matters. I hope I have your strength when we face them.”

“Then, make me forget for tonight. I want to feel you and nothing else.”

Loki smiled and put his lips to the shell of his ear, using the low, hypnotic voice Bucky loved.

“ _James_... _I need your taste on my tongue. I need to feel your cock in the back of my throat. I need to slide inside that perfect ass and fuck you so hard your legs shake and the only word you can speak is my name.”_

That voice went straight to Bucky’s core and he melted against the wall, heat coursing through him.

 _“Oh, fuck...Loki_...How do you do that?”

He nuzzled Bucky’s ear, nipping his earlobe.

“It’s a gift.I only share it with you and Steve now.”

He yanked him into the bedroom, pulling off his shirt as they went, then pinned him against the wall. Loki’s fingers slid up his ribs and his lips found the pulse point at the corner of his jaw.

He sucked at Bucky’s neck and chest while he made his own clothes disappear, tongue and breath ghosting over the scars from the bullet holes and where the metal arm met flesh. His fingers slid down and made short work of the button and zipper, pushing Bucky’s tac pants down below his hips. He bit down on the cord of muscle where thigh met groin and felt James’ whole body twitch and shiver. He looked up and their eyes met as he continued in a low voice, his hand around Bucky’s cock now.

_“You know how I love your scent; the sounds you make when I fuck you; how hard I can fuck you. Only you.”_

Bucky’s metal hand twisted a handful of black hair and pulled Loki’s mouth onto his cock.

“ _Fuck_. You always know exactly the right thing to say, don’t you?”

Loki just nodded slightly and hummed, because he couldn’t really speak with a mouthful of Bucky.

And, Bucky responded this time; responded the way Loki loved, moaning and gasping and pushing into him, the soft skin over the hard length, sliding in and out. When James stiffened and groaned and filled his mouth with cum, Loki swallowed it down like he couldn’t get enough.

Before Bucky could even catch his breath, Loki was up and spun him around, chest grinding into the wall. He vanished Bucky’s pants, his finger traced down the crack of his ass and probed its way in, slippery with his lube.

“ _Oh, God, Loki_...the bed is right—“

“ _The bed can wait. I want you right now, this second, up against this wall. I want to feel your knees buckle. I want you to know how much I need you.”_

The blunt force of his cock pushed in, making Bucky moan and gasp, his fingers digging into the wall and making gashes.

“ _Jesus, Loki_... _yes_... _I need you inside me. Fuck me.”_

And Loki pounded into him the way he only did with James, until his muscles burned, he gasped for breath, and they were both dripping sweat. The world fell away and there were only the two of them and all Loki felt was James clenched tight around him as he emptied into him.

Still panting, he could feel Bucky’s legs trembling and he could not hold back the words that came spilling out of him—words he hadn’t spoken to anyone since Sigyn five hundred years ago.  
  
_“I love you.”_

He felt James freeze, holding his breath for a few seconds. Then, the metal hand reached behind his head to hold Loki tightly by the back of the neck, pulling him closer.

“I love you, too, Loki. I have for a long time.”

*****

It was late when Steve got home, and he headed straight for bed. When he walked into the bedroom, his chest tightened at seeing Loki and Bucky together, and he flushed with warmth at what a picture they made. He had never imagined this—anything remotely _like_ this—these feelings for the God of Mischief; not to mention that Loki had brought Bucky back to him and seemed comfortable sharing him. And, independent of Bucky, Steve felt a surprisingly deep and trusting bond with Loki, especially since their last night together. He didn’t quite know what to do with that, yet, and Loki seemed as astonished by it as he was, but it felt _right_.

He was tired, and had intended on nothing but sleep, but he couldn’t resist getting his sketch pad. They were spooning, Loki’s arm around Bucky’s waist, sleeping so soundly he could barely hear them breathing. With the sheet draped around their thighs, Loki’s long black hair half-covering his face, and Bucky’s metal arm gleaming in the dim lamp light, they were so beautiful it made him swallow hard. He sat in a chair next to the bed for nearly an hour sketching them. He had told Loki he’d drawn Bucky sleeping and felt odd about it—a little embarrassed. But, he didn’t feel at all odd about this; just glad he could capture the moment.

He slipped quietly into bed next to Bucky and put a hand over Loki’s arm where it rested on Bucky’s waist. He drifted off to sleep with the knowledge that he would do whatever he had to do for them and for Earth. He couldn’t really fault Loki’s plan, because he didn’t have a better one, but he couldn’t quite let go of the worry that they’d missed something important. He was normally a sound sleeper, but he woke several times that night with a vision of Loki drifting off into space with the Tesseract in his hand.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Loki crafted a duplicate of the Tesseract and placed it in a protective cradle, andBucky tucked it away in his carry-on for the flight to St. Petersburg. It was nothing but a faintly glowing blue cube that could be passed off as anything from a science experiment to a piece of art. Now, there was nothing for Steve and Loki to do but wait for Bucky’s signal. It would be at least fourteen or fifteen hours until they heard anything, and Loki needed to lay low and stay off the radar of whoever it was that waited for Bucky. They sparred, ate, slept, talked, and paced. Steve taught him a fascinating game called Jenga, which was an interesting test of dexterity and steadiness. He was addicted, especially to playing blindfolded. 

After some much-needed, tension-relieving shower sex with Loki sucking his cock (he _was_ the best at it, no question) Steve had something he wanted to say, but started and stopped several times before coming out with it.

“I—I want you to know...I don’t blame you.”

Loki raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t blame me for what?”

“For this whole situation; for keeping the Tesseract, if it really is indestructible. I know you’re one of the few people who can actually touch it and use it and not...die...and now that Asgard’s gone, I don’t know who I’d trust more than you to keep it away from people like the Grandmaster or his brother, or...Thanos.”

“Why, thank you, Steve. I’m honored. Truly. That’s a long journey from the first interaction we had over the Tesseract, is it not?” he asked, grinning.

“At first, I thought you had Bucky fooled; that it was all just sex or that you were manipulating him for your own purposes. But, now, I—“ he hesitated.

“I know you really do care about him _and_ about Earth.”

Loki kissed him softly, their lips lingering on one another’s for a moment.

“Earth is the only home I have now. I can’t lose this one, too. And, you must know James is not the only one I care about.”

Steve cleared his throat nervously and changed the subject.

“But, the next time you put a spell on me or in me or whatever it is you do, you’d better be damn sure you ask me first.”

“Of course. Absolutely. No question.”

*****

Bucky walked toward a brick building on the outskirts of St. Petersburg with a light snow swirling around him. He spoke the words _du er min_ only one time before Loki’s voice whispered behind him.

“We’re here.”

Without turning around, Bucky nodded slightly.

“Five-minute walk.”

He reached the doorway and looked up at the security camera.

“ _Pobeda_ ,” he said, and the door opened.

He walked down the hall and into a small antechamber, where a set of steel doors opened into an elevator. He stepped in and the doors closed. As soon as they opened again and he stepped out into a large room, he, Steve, and Loki were hit with darts, and a steel mesh net dropped over Loki. Horror overcame Loki as he realized it was happening again, even as he started blacking out. They had seen through his cloaking, and the agony of vibranium bullets tearing through James’ chest and his own legs washed over him. He should have made the connection...he should have...

*****

They all came around about the same time, weak and groggy, but aware of their surroundings—on steel gurneys naked, cuffed, strapped down, and otherwise heavily restrained. Loki also wore a thick, heavy gold collar that the other two did not. A deep voice speaking English with a thick Russian accent cut through the haze.

“Ah, Loki, my friend. You could not have played into my hand any better if I had written this script myself. You may have resisted me once, but now...I have what is most precious to you right here, do I not? More valuable to you than your own flesh. Perhaps you will not be so stubborn when one of _them_ is being fucked and torn to pieces.”

As Steve listened to the voice and looked at the man through hazy eyes, the pieces of what he’d missed fell into place. When he’d talked with Tony after rescuing Loki from the cave and they’d tried to figure out who could have been behind that, Tony had said it. One of the few people capable of designing technology to block Loki’s magic—Tony’s old nemesis—Ivan Vanko. But, they’d ruled him out because he was dead.

“You’re dead, Vanko,” said Steve, and felt it was a reasonable enough statement, groggy as he was.

Vanko laughed out loud, standing over Steve with one hand behind his back.

“Then, it appears your Prince is not the only one capable of multiple lives.Are _you_ , Captain Rogers?”

He slid a kitchen knife under Steve’s left ribcage and into his abdomen, then twisted it and left it there. Steve partially bit back a scream, and Loki’s jaw clenched. One wound like that wouldn’t be fatal for a superhuman, but three or four? Very possibly.

“And you, Sergeant Barnes? Are you as durable as Rogers?”

He plunged a knife through Bucky’s right shoulder and the tip embedded in the metal table. Bucky, being more experienced with torture than Steve, just groaned and grimaced. But, Loki knew...he knew how much pain there was. He’d felt it more than once from Thanos.

“And you, Loki? You think I did not learn from the first time? I do not need to put you in a cage, anymore, to be beaten and starved and raped. That collar is enough. Elegant, yes?”

He reached into his pocket and an electrical shock hit Loki so hard he convulsed, muscles trying to tear away from the bone. It was like the metal prod he’d been hit with in the cave, only much worse—more powerful. He blacked out and it was minutes before he saw anything other than black spots; minutes more before he could speak.

“I can't give you the Tesseract, Vanko. Even if you kill us all, I will _not_. To give a narcissistic, delusional failure of a life form like you that kind of power? Our lives are nothing compared to keeping you from that.”

He spat the words at Vanko and hoped they sounded more convincing than he felt. Even as he spoke, he was trying desperately to think of some kind of plan, some idea...he did _not_ want to die, and he did not want _them_ to die. And, this was his fault—he should have guessed it was the same person. It seemed so obvious now. James and Steve were probably in so much pain they weren’t able to think clearly, even if he could ask them anything. But, he knew what they would say— _You cannot give this man the Tesseract._

Anger flashed across Vanko’s face, and he verged on losing control, but brought himself back from the edge and said evenly,

“Suit yourself. The Collector will be... _displeased_.”

Loki flinched as if he’d been struck across the face.

“The Collector? What do you know of him?”

Vanko shrugged.

“He collects. And he wants the Tesseract.”

They were all transported back to the same room together, no doubt so that Loki could see how much pain Steve and Bucky were in. They were not given any treatment; only technicians who seemed to relish wiggling the knives around and watching them try not to cry out. Loki saw the blood oozing from their wounds, pooling on the table under them, and the sweat dripping from their faces. When another half-hour went by without Loki speaking up, Vanko came into the room again. He plunged another knife into Steve, this time through his right shoulder, then one into Bucky’s abdomen. This time, neither one could hold back a scream of agony, and just as the first time, he left both knives protruding from their quivering bodies.

“Don’t do it, Loki. You—you can’t,” said Steve, through gritted teeth.

Loki didn’t answer, because he could not see any way around this, and there would never be an end. The Collector, like Grandmaster, was essentially immortal and unkillable. Loki would spend the rest of his five thousand years looking over his shoulder; expecting the torture, rape, and deaths of his lovers and friends, perhaps with the fate of his new home world held in the balance.No, there was no other way.

“Vanko. Take me to the Collector. I’ll only give it directly to him.”

“Loki! No! You can’t!”

Bucky was trying to yell, but, everything hurt so badly—there was so much agony—it would only come out as a strangled whisper. He couldn’t draw enough air to raise his voice.

“I have to, James. There’s no other way.”

Loki smiled softly, his expression resigned, because all three of them knew exactly what that meant. _Children will sing songs about me._ Between the pain and the despair, Bucky couldn't choke back his tears.

_I’ve lost so much already...I can’t lose you, too. Please..._

“Where is he?” Loki asked.

“Do you take me for an idiot? Do you think I would let you just teleport out of here with the Tesseract? No, you will come with me. There is a ship waiting.”

“Let them go. You have me.”

“And, why would I do that? _They_ are my insurance policy.”

“At least, treat their wounds.”

“No. I know what they are. They will heal without any help from me. But, as a good faith gesture, I will remove the knives.”

He yanked all four knives out and turned to Loki, waving a hand toward the door. 

“We will go now. They will be here when we return.”

“You can take this collar off. I give you my word I’ll not try to escape. I know you can get to me and to them whenever you wish, and this has to end.”

“Loki...there has to be another way,” Steve gasped out, barely able to speak through the red haze of pain.

“There isn’t, my Captain. I wish there were.”

“The collar stays on until we reach the Collector,” said Vanko.

Vanko released Loki’s restraints, but did not allow him to come close to either Steve or James. All he could do was look over his shoulder as he walked away with Vanko.

“I’ll see you soon.”

But, all three of them knew that was a lie.


	4. Chapter 4

Loki was gone, and he wasn’t coming back. Steve couldn’t quite make himself believe it. He was on his way to die a hero and they were left to bleed on their gurneys. It seemed like an eternity with a group of people watching them, but obviously afraid to come near either one. Finally, a man in a white coat gave some brusque orders and the technicians scrambled, but Steve and Bucky could only exchange glances, and then were rolled back to their respective cells.

But, Bucky’s grief and anger and guilt swelled and boiled and overpowered the pain. Before they’d even locked his cell, rage blotted out everything but the need to _kill_. The Winter Soldier wanted to take over and Bucky let him.

 _Kill ‘em all...kill ‘em all_ _now_.

His metal arm snapped its restraint and he grabbed the technician by the neck, crushing until trachea and bone crunched in his hand, and the rest was easy. He freed himself and killed three more, then tore open the door to Steve’s cell. Even weak and wounded as they were, their captors were no match for them.Steve’s natural instinct _not to kill_ was gone. They were berserkers and they didn’t stop until everyone was dead, and more than thirty corpses littered the floor by the time they walked out the door.

Covered with so much blood they couldn’t tell how much was their own and how much was someone else’s, they left the building in ruins, destroying all the machines and every piece of equipment they could lay their hands on. They stumbled out the door into the snow, dragging themselves along until they found an empty building.

“Tony. We have to call Tony. Maybe we can still stop them. Vanko...” Bucky gasped out.

Steve forced himself to breathe, doubling over and holding his side. He had only just noticed a bullet hole on the other side from the knife wound, and it was bleeding a lot, too. Damn.

“Buck...they’re gone. We can’t stop them. Loki’s gone. I’m sorry...”

“ _No_! I can still save him. We can still _save_ _him_.”

Steve grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him into an embrace.

“No. We can’t. We don’t even know where they went, and the ship’s gone by now.”

Bucky collapsed in his arms, shivering from both the cold and the despair. They sank to the floor in the frigid, empty building and stayed there, arms around each other, until Bucky finally cried himself to exhausted asleep. Steve was not far behind.

He woke an hour later from the pain, so cold he was glad he’d woken at all. It would’ve been easy to just keep sleeping until he bled out or froze to death, and the horror of that got him going again. Not back in the ice—never again—and he woke Bucky up and staggered to his feet. 

“We have to find help. The serum can’t keep up with the damage. We’re gonna bleed out if we don’t do something.”

Bucky just stared at him and made no move to get up, curling in tighter on himself.

“You go ahead. I’ll wait here.”

Steve stumbled outside and down the sidewalk. Maybe naked, bleeding men weren’t terribly unusual in St. Petersburg, because several passers-by just avoided him and kept walking. Finally, someone handed him a shawl, which he tied around his waist, and called police. He explained that they were tourists and had been attacked. It was the best he could do under the circumstances without giving too much away. The policeman may have doubted his story, but the wounds were certainly real. In any case, he followed Steve back to where he’d left Bucky.

But, Bucky was gone. They followed his trail of blood out a different door of the building and found him curled into a fetal position in the snow. 

“Come on, Buck. I found help. They can get us to the hospital.”

“No. You go. I just want to stay here.”

“Bucky, you’ll die out here.”

“That’s the general idea.”

“I’m not leaving you here. Don’t make me fight you right now. We’ll both die. _Please_ , Bucky...get up.”

For a long moment, Steve was afraid Buck would _not_ get up, and he didn’t know if he and the policeman both could carry him if he didn’t want to be carried. Finally, he uncurled and rose stiffly to his feet, leaving a frozen pool of blood where he’d been laying.

The policeman took them straight to a hospital. From there, they were able to contact Tony and get a ride home several days later. Bucky barely spoke and spent most of his time staring out windows. The most emotion he’d shown was on Tony’s jet on the way home, when Steve took his hand and he managed a weak smile. But, once they were home, he went straight to his apartment while Steve met with Tony.

“Jesus, Cap, that’s quite a story,” Tony sipped his Scotch and shook his head several times while Steve told him everything.

“So, Loki had the goddam Tesseract the whole time. That’s what he was hiding. And, he sacrificed himself to keep it out of the Collector’s hands. Are you sure about that, Cap?”

“I know what you’re thinking, Tony, but you didn’t see his face or hear his voice. He sounded just like you when you decided to fly that nuke into Loki’s giant wormhole all those years ago.”

“And, I’m still here, aren’t I? It ain’t over til it’s over, Steve. He’s a resourceful bastard, that one. And, almost as smart as me.”

“I hope you’re right, Tony. God, I hope you’re right. I don’t really know exactly how I felt...feel...about him. Not sure I’d call it love, but _something_ more than I ever saw coming, and Bucky is utterly destroyed. He’s a zombie right now.”

“Well...go take care of your man, Cap. There’s absolutely nothing we can do but wait. Loki showed me a lot about Grandmaster’s ship and I can fly it without him now, but we don’t have any idea where in the whole goddam galaxy they went. It could take them weeks to get where they’re going.”

*****

“Buck, you have to eat something,” Steve said patiently, shoving a sandwich across the coffee table.

“You’re not sleeping, you’re not eating, you’re barely showering; you aren’t doing anything but watching soap operas and old videos of Loki. It’s been two weeks.”

Steve missed him, too. There _had_ been something between them and he hadn’t really had time to grieve, himself. As Bucky’s self-appointed caretaker, he had to keep his own shit together in order to do that.He couldn’t afford to fall apart right now. Bucky looked up at him, but Steve felt more like he was being looked _through_ than _at_.

“You don’t understand, Steve. On top of everything else, half my heart has just been fucking ripped out of my chest. If it wasn’t for your half, I’d probably be dead, now. No, I know I would be. You’re the only thing keeping me here.”

“Don’t say that, Buck. Please...don’t even think it. One step at a time. Eat your sandwich.”

Bucky obeyed, chewing slowly and not tasting anything at all. Then, after Steve had managed to get him into the shower and into bed, Bucky reached up and grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him down.

“Steve—help me. It hurts so much.”

His eyes were shining with barely held-back tears and Steve kissed him softly, then slid into bed next to him. His finger traced the still-healing scars on his side and shoulder, then brushed along his jawline. He leaned in and kissed Bucky gently at first, then harder as he was pulled in frantically, the metal arm dragging him across to lay on top. Bucky’s arm wrapped around his waist like a steel band holding him down.

“Ok...whatever you need, Buck. Just tell me what you want,” he whispered.

“Just _fuck_ me...please... _hard_ , the way only you and...” his voice trailed off and tears rolled down his temples.

Steve wasn’t even half-hard, but Bucky was desperate, so he opened the nightstand and found the lube. He closed his eyes and focused on how good it felt to push his cock into that perfect ass. It had been a hot minute—since before Bucky had left for Russia. It wasn’t easy, but it was enough, and he felt his erection grow as he stroked himself with lube, then poured some onto his fingers. When he slid one inside, Bucky moaned, his lips parted, and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head.

 _“Oh...Steve..._ ”

He slid a second finger in and curled up into Bucky’s prostate, stroking until he was leaking pre-cum and his hips couldn’t stay on the bed. Filled with a jumbled mix of emotions—desire, grief, love, sadness—Steve was hard for real now, and didn’t wait any longer. He pulled his fingers out and pushed his cock all the way inside in one smooth motion.

 _“Ah, God, Buck._..”

Bucky groaned, deep and guttural and wanting. It was so much like the Jotunn sound Loki had made that Steve’s heart skipped a beat. Bucky wrapped a hand around his leaking cock while Steve held him down by the shoulders and _fucked_ him...as hard as he could, until he was panting, muscles burning, and Bucky shot ribbons of cum all over his own chest. He allowed himself to fall over the edge, too, with Bucky tight around him, and then sank down, exhausted.

“ _I fucking love you, Steve.”_

 _“_ I love you, too, Bucky Baby, and I always will. Don’t _ever_ forget that.”

Bucky’s eyes fluttered closed and he slept through the night for the first time in two weeks.


	5. Chapter 5

Loki spent the better part of the three-week journey resigned to his fate and planning exactly how he’d accomplish it.It seemed pretty simple, really. When he handed the Tesseract to the Collector, he’d simply put a hand on the man’s arm and use it to transport them straight into the nearest sun.He was certain Vanko didn’t know he didn’t need magic to use the Tesseract, so it wouldn’t matter if he was still wearing the collar. He could use it simply by nature of who he was, and that would be the element of surprise he needed.

His main regret was leaving James and Steve. Due to their influence, he’d changed and become a better man. Well, a more empathetic one, at least. He felt certain they’d be all right, though, without Vanko himself there to control things. They would recover. Besides, even if they weren’t able to recover enough to fight their own way out, Tony would’ve gotten his message and have already sent a team.They would survive. He had to believe that.

At least, he’d had some time with people he truly cared about and who cared about him, as brief as it was. These past few months had been the only time in his millennium of life he could say that, other than his stormy relationship with his brother. He wondered if Thor would truly miss him or simply be relieved. Probably both.

But, as they approached what appeared to be a huge structure in space, an idea began to form—a possible way to survive and still keep Earth safe. If it didn’t work, he could still make the suicide move, but he wanted very much to _live_ , so he’d make the attempt.

*****

Vanko was bored and took advantage of the nearly three-week journey to continue tormenting Loki, mostly because he was curious about how much the god could handle. He hadn’t broken under whippings or rape, so what would it take? But, he was also careful. He knew Loki was dangerous even without his magic and kept him in chains most of the time.

Considering Vanko had been Whiplash and considering who Loki’s brother was, he figured it would be ironic and entertaining to use electricity. The electric prod had been his idea, after all, and the collar had an augmented version built in. He would randomly hit the remote in his pocket just to watch the notorious God of Mischief drop and convulse helplessly, then time how long he was out. He was disappointed that Loki never once pissed himself, even though he kept ramping up the power.

When they were about two weeks into their journey, he turned the jolt up high enough that Loki was unconscious for nearly a full day. That was the longest so far. When he started to stir, Vanko had him stripped and hung by his wrists, then pulled up a chair and waited for him to open his eyes. Loki startled awake, wild-eyed and disoriented. Once he got his bearings, he saw Vanko had one of the metal rods in his hand. He looked down to see a piece of heavy copper wire wrapped around his cock and he was standing in water. His head throbbed and the deep, heavily-accented voice was like a knife through his skull.

“Welcome, back, Mr. Odinson. What do you think of your new jewelry?”

Loki’s voice was dry and hoarse, and he badly needed a drink of water.

“I prefer gold.”

“Can a god die by electrocution, I wonder?”

“You can’t take the chance, can you? If I die before he gets the Tesseract, your life won’t be worth the dirt under my fingernails—which is the worst part of this trip, by the way. Your ship is filthy.”

“You talk too much.”

He touched the copper wire with the metal rod and held it there. Loki screamed so loud and so long that Vanko dropped the rod and put his hands to his ears. Loki panted and gasped for breath, the smell of his own burning flesh filling his nostrils, and he was beyond caring about much, now. If he died here, the Collector would not get the Tesseract and Vanko would die a painful death for his failure. It might even be worth it to push Vanko to kill him, so he choked out a hoarse whisper.

“You...envy my cock...because...at least your henchman...had one.”

He watched Vanko’s face turn purple as his hand went to his pocket. The shock was the worst yet, and Loki felt his bladder loose right before he blacked out.

_Damn. He finally made me do it._

*****

It turned out to be much easier than he expected. He was under heavy guard when they docked at Knowhere and made their way to the Collector’s penthouse. Loki was patient as Vanko released the collar so he could access the Tesseract from his pocket dimension, and stood quietly as the collar was snapped back into place. The Collector was so focused on the glowing blue cube that he didn’t even react when Loki grabbed his arm and they vanished in front of Vanko’s eyes. They reappeared in Grandmaster’s bedroom, and The Collector’s eyes darted around the room in confusion.

As it happened, he was there. Good. That made it even easier. The man was a master of self-control when he needed to be, Loki had to give him that. He looked up and his face was blank for a half-second and then broke into a broad smile.

“Loki, my darling! What an unexpected pleasure! And you brought me more gifts!”

The Collector’s mouth gaped open and he was still trying to collect his wits.

_Ironic. He can’t even collect himself._

“I brought you a tribute of sorts. And I ask only a small favor in return.”

He still kept hold of Collector’s arm, tensely waiting for Grandmaster’s reaction, because whether he lived or died depended on this moment—on how much Gast wanted him.

”I doubt there’s much I could refuse _you_ , my pet. Let’s talk,” he said silkily. 

Loki felt the tension leave his shoulders, and for the first time, wanted to hug En Dwi Gast.

Grandmaster sat on the bed and patted it, waiting for Loki to sit, then waved a hand at the Collector.

“Guards! Take this one to my special room. You know the one I mean.”

He winked knowingly at the confused man in front of him.

“So good to see you again, _brother_. I’m sure we’ll have a pleasant visit. Right now, I wish to speak to this gorgeous creature alone.”

His hand went between Loki’s legs and Loki winced. The burns had mostly healed, but his dick was still tender.

“Sorry; it’s not you. Still recovering from some damage by your brother’s henchman.”

“And what is this...this _thing_ around your neck?”

Loki did not want to tell Grandmaster that the collar blocked his magic. That could be risky. He’d tried many times to get it off, and his strength could not break it; but he was sure Tony could do it once he got home. He waved off the question as if he were bored with it.

“Oh, this? It’s nothing. He thought it could hold me. He was mistaken, obviously, or I wouldn’t be here.”

“Well, take it off. I don’t like it on you. If you were to wear any collar, it would be mine, wouldn’t it?”

He reached up, grasped the locking mechanism, and the collar opened.

 _Thankyouthankyouthankyou_. Loki tried not to let it show on his face, but he felt reborn, his magic flowing and swirling inside him again, and he tucked the Tesseract back into his pocket.

“Here’s my proposal. I leave him with you, so now, you have him and you have your dynasty as insurance. In return, all I want is for you to continue leaving Earth alone, and I keep the Tesseract.”

“Did you have that all along? Clever boy,” he shook his head, grinning.

“If I keep it, I can use it to come back to you without needing a ship—from anywhere. You have no need of it and you know where to find me if you ever do. I’ll make you a promise that I’ll come back every year to visit the offspring and to do...whatever you like, instead of every other year.”

He put his lips to the Grandmaster’s cheek and used his low, husky voice.

“ _A year of my time is nothing to you. You’ll see me again before you know it. I’ll make you give me massages and feed me and dress me; maybe I’ll even piss on you occasionally. And I’ll make you suck my cock until your lips bruise.”_

He focused on the not-quite-healed tender skin and let his magic finish the job as he watched Grandmaster’s eyes glaze over.

“It’s a deal. Starting now.”

He dropped to his knees in front of Loki, unlaced the leather breeches, and got to work.

*****

Loki used the Tesseract to go back to Knowhere. With his magic returned, it was easy to blend in and not be noticed, and it didn’t take him long to find Vanko. He watched him drink at a bar and followed when he left. He’d thought about this a lot—dreamed of it, even—and knew Steve would not approve. He felt a pang of guilt at that, but Steve would want him to bring Vanko back to Earth to face its justice system, and he had no confidence in that. This man had been responsible for torturing James, Steve, and him; raping him; nearly killing him; and nearly killing James.

He followed the man back to his ship, stepped up behind him, and a dagger slipped into his hand. He grabbed Vanko by the neck, spun him around, and before he could even speak, the dagger stabbed upward under his sternum. He staggered back against the door of the ship for support, clutching at his wound and staring in wide-eyed shock at Loki.

“I’ll see you in Hell, Vanko.”

The dagger sliced across his throat. Loki waited until there was no more frothy blood spurting out and the wet breathing noises ceased, then summoned the Tesseract.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been three weeks now, and Steve was starting to give up hope. He was glad he hadn’t mentioned to Bucky what Tony had said, because false hope would’ve made things even worse. Bucky was at least sleeping and eating a little, even though he still wasn’t cooking. Yesterday, he’d gone down to the training area and watched for a few minutes, but he still refused multiple invitations to go on runs with Steve. He never smiled, except for the occasional weak attempt when Steve coaxed him. Steve was still staying in Bucky’s apartment with him, still terrified to leave him alone, and was going to try to convince him today to move into his house in Brooklyn. He’d mentioned it briefly a couple of times, but Bucky had refused. He still spent time every day in Loki’s apartment, just sitting and staring at the walls, and Tony had agreed to leave it untouched for awhile longer. It wasn’t like he needed the space.

Steve was making dinner when he felt it—the tug of the binding—and he looked at Bucky, whose eyes had gone wide.

“Did—did you feel that?” Bucky asked, afraid to believe it.

“Yes.YES!” and his heart skipped a beat.

“Where’s it coming from? I can’t tell.”

“I don’t know. I can’t feel a direction,” Steve said, confused.

Did that mean it wasn’t real? Some sort of echo from the past?

They were frozen in place, trying to understand, when a knock came at the door. Bucky didn’t move to answer it, so Steve did, his heart in his throat, hoping for a miracle.

It was Loki.

He stepped into the room, swept Steve up by the waist, and dipped him backwards into a movie kiss, while Bucky stood up, eyes wide and mouth open.

“I have returned from the dead, gentlemen.”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck, grinning like a madman and shaking his head.

“Damn. Tony was right. He knew you’d find a way.”

Bucky grabbed Loki by the front of his shirt and shook him like a rag doll. 

“ _Goddammit, Loki!_ I thought you were dead. We all thought you were dead.”

“Very nearly, more than once.”

“You _fucker_...”

Bucky couldn’t stop the tears, but at the same time he was swearing and shaking Loki hard back and forth.

“You unkillable _asshole_...I can’t believe you’re really here. You let me think you were dead for _three fucking weeks!”_

He was crying and laughing hysterically and yanked Loki towards him, banging their foreheads together much harder than he intended. But, Loki let himself be manhandled while he tried to explain.

“It took us three weeks to get there. I came back as soon as I could, James, truly. There was no way to contact you. I used the Tesseract to come home and came straight here.”

Loki pulled him in for a kiss with one hand and put the other between his legs, his eyes darkening.

“But, I like this angry side of you, James. Perhaps you should show me just how angry you are,” he said, squeezing James’ crotch.

“And you, Steve?”

“I’ve never been more glad Tony was right and I was wrong,” he laughed, pulling Loki’s head back by the hair and kissing him hard.

”But, I could be convinced to rough you up a little. It’s been a rough three weeks here, and maybe we need a little payback.”

"And I honestly can’t imagine a better homecoming,” Loki said, his voice low.

“Then, we’d better go to your house, because we’re gonna need that reinforced bed,” Bucky said darkly.

Steve nodded and grabbed his sketch pad.

“Let’s go.”

They teleported straight into the bedroom in the house on the meadow and Bucky shoved Loki backwards towards the bed.

“Lose the clothes,” he snapped.

“Fast or slow?”

“Slow,” said Steve. “It’s been awhile.”

Loki was wearing a black button-down shirt and the black Asgardian-style breeches he favored when he wasn’t wearing his green and gold leathers. He slowly unbuttoned the shirt and let it drop, then unlaced the breeches and slid them down his hips. He rarely wore underwear and today was no exception. Loki was well aware of the reaction they had to his body, and smiled to hear Steve make a soft noise under his breath. He made a quarter-turn, bent over, and slid the breeches down to his knees, and they disappeared and reappeared in the corner. He ran his hands through his hair, shook it out, and held it back with one hand as the other spread out on his chest and slid down slowly over his groin. He took a deep breath, tilted his head back, and took his already half-hard cock in hand.

“ _Goddamn, Loki_.. _.you’re so fucking gorgeous,_ ” Bucky whispered, almost reverentially. Then, he shook himself and shoved him hard onto the bed.

“But, I’m still pissed.”

“What can I do to make it up to you, James?”

“Steve. Hold him down.”

Steve held him by the shoulders, and a shiver went through Loki. He loved to feel his Captain’s strength, and his mouth covered Loki’s in a deep kiss while Bucky pressed his erection against him.

”Gods, I’ve missed you both so much...”

Loki moaned softly and when Bucky leaned over him to kiss Steve, blood rushed straight to his cock. Seeing that never failed to push his arousal higher, no matter how high it was already, and his fingers dug into the sheets.

“Ok. Turn over. Hands and knees.”

Loki complied, waiting, and his eyes met Steve’s.

“What do you want, James? Just tell me. I need to hear it.”

“ _I want to fuck you so hard your legs shake and the only word you can speak is m_ y _name_.”

Loki was starting to understand that James had taken his death much harder than he could have imagined. There was so much emotion in his voice, it trembled, and there were three weeks’ worth of pent-up grief and pain about to come pouring out.

_“Then fuck me, James.”_

Bucky forced his entire length in hard, not even trying to be gentle, and held Loki’s hips so tightly his fingers dug deep into flesh. It was what he needed and Loki let him do it, gasping and arching his back.

“ _Oh, gods_...” Loki groaned and grabbed Steve’s arm, pulling him forward.

Steve pushed into Loki’s warm and waiting mouth, watching as he sucked him in like his life depended on it. He had missed his god more than he’d been able to admit, because he’d been so focused on Bucky. This was heaven, and no one did it better than Loki. It wasn’t very long before he came down that tight, wet throat, and half the anxiety of the last few weeks pulsed out of him. He half-collapsed backwards on his elbows, panting.

He quickly decided it was probably good he’d come so fast, because it might be dangerous to have his dick in Loki’s mouth right now. Bucky was pounding into him savagely, his teeth were clenched, and he was in obvious pain. Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead and Steve put a hand between his shoulder blades to steady him.

Right before Bucky came, he slowed his pace just enough to time the last few brutal thrusts with his words.

“ _Ah...fuck...Loki...Christ._ ”

His whole body shuddered and he dropped onto Loki’s back, exhausted emotionally and physically. Steve pulled him down to the bed and Loki rolled onto his back, groaning softly and grimacing. Both hips were black-and-blue and the left one had distinct finger imprints around the bone. Drops of blood-tinged cum were smeared between his thighs, and Steve noticed, his eyes finding Loki’s and giving him a meaningful look.

 _I can't believe you let that happen just because you thought Bucky needed it_. 

“It’s all right, James. It’s all right...I’m not going anywhere. Neither of us is.”

Steve was between them, and Loki reached across, taking Bucky's hand, squeezing it tight. He cleaned up the blood and used a healing spell before James could see how much damage he’d done. 

With Bucky tucked under Steve’s right arm and Loki under his left, they lay quietly for a long time, none of them certain exactly what to say. 

"I fucking love you both. You know that, right?" Bucky asked. 

"Yes, we do, Buck. We do know," Steve answered and pulled them both in tighter.

When Bucky and Loki fell asleep using Steve as a pillow, he lay there staring at the drawing on the opposite wall—the one he’d done of Loki. He smiled to see it was already framed and hung. He’d thought never to see it again, with Loki gone and no one else knowing the exact location of this house.It filled him with a warm glow to know it wasn’t lost and neither was the god. _His_ god.

And, of course, he wanted to know the whole story. Where was the Collector? What about Vanko? But, there would be plenty of time for that tomorrow. Tonight, he just wanted to _be_ , and to know his two men were all right. He chuckled softly and shook his head—his _two_ men.

He was bone-tired, but couldn’t get to sleep. The fake newspaper headline kept rolling through his mind like a TV news banner and he couldn’t let it go.

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND GOD OF MISCHIEF ARE A COUPLE

What would happen if they made it a real headline and told the world they were together? Not just _men_ , but _three_ men; not just three men, but two _superhumans_ and an _alien—_ a completely different _species_. That headline rolled through his brain until he finally fell asleep.

CAPTAIN AMERICA, LOKI, AND WINTER SOLDIER IN SAME-SEX RELATIONSHIP

_Could the world handle it?_

Maybe; maybe not; but with all the shit they’d been through together, didn’t they deserve that much honesty?

**Author's Note:**

> Title reference: Total Recall. 1990. Arnold Shwartzeneggar.


End file.
